Posts Tagged ‘funny’

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“I think it would be healthier for Daddy to sleep in his own bed”

In Uncategorized on April 13, 2007 by Ashok Bania Tagged: , , , ,

Frank O Connor has concocted the great potion of childhood flashbacks in his novel “My Oedipus Complex and others” .. Hey Freud! Take a hike man! Frank is here … just kidding! Great read – hilarious and thought inducing – a story about Larry – a small kid, who was comfortable and happy with his mom till his father comes back home from war. Early memories of his father were those where he came like Santa Claus at night … His world comes to a halt when his mom’s time was shared by his father. He used to sleep with his mom, but as Daddy arrived Larry was asked to sleep in his own bed coz it was healthier that way – Larry retorted – “I think it would be healthier for Daddy to sleep in his own bed”. He was always used to talking to his mom in the morning n bed – but alas! Daddy is very tired and he wants to sleep… “Not to come in and disturb poor Daddy in the morning. Promise?” “Poor Daddy” again! I was becoming suspicious of everything involving that quite impossible man.
He starts scheming against this stranger-in-his-mom’s-bed – how to send Daddy back to war. He then understood that his mom is more interested in Daddy than him. So he started behaving like his dad – smoking, reading newspapers -“He had a common accent and made noises at his tea”. “I even made noises at my tea, but Mother only told me I was disgusting”.

Poor Larry ends up fighting head on with Daddy -

“I see he’s better fed than taught,” snarled Father, waving his arms wildly. “He wants his bottom smacked.” All his previous shouting was as nothing to these obscene words referring to my person. They really made my blood boil.
“Smack your own!” I screamed hysterically. “Smack your own! Shut up! Shut up!”

That night broke him … he got a slap from his dad and he heard words he never heard before.

Now Larry got used to this routine and accepted things till little Sonnie came along – his baby brother … Well Larry didn’t like him and accused the poor baby that it cries because it wants attention but he accepted the way his mom started treating him … Only his Daddy who couldn’t accept the fact that his wife who spent her whole day with him suddenly is interested with the baby …

Guess what happens in the end … well I don’t wanna spoil it for you … read the short story by clicking here

I liked the story because it depicts the child’s world very vividly with adult insinuations. Something like Calvin & Hobbes. I find a Larry in me – may not be the Oedipus Complex but the kid …

When I was a kid, I used to be the best a house can get – very quiet, no tantrums, healthy and content. My mom named me Ashok – she felt that I am like the Ashoka flower – white, spotless and peaceful. I should have thrown tantrums and done everything that a kid does … well can’t go back to childhood again … tough luck huh!

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HolyCow presents “The Sign Language” in Horrorscope

In Uncategorized on May 11, 2006 by Ashok Bania Tagged: , , ,


No matter how much I resisted (read desist myself) myself from Zodiac prophecies yet I have been seduced into it. What can I do … I live with 4 women!! Over past 10 days I have noticed a strange frequency … no matter what they write everything is so true. I mean today it said, “You have problems with a friend .. don’t try to mend it .. let it be” I mean who doesn’t have problems with friends. Yesterday they said, “This is a turning point of your life” … Every day is a turnong point for most people (at least most of us want to think that way).

Further I collected all the newspapers for last two weeks and I read all the other horroscope. To my surprise I could relate to each one of them. I have been going through what a Libran is going through. They seemed so generic.

Now I really wonder if they put all the words of a dictionary in front of a baby named “Zodiac” and ask him to take out word by word… a computer assists “him” to make sentences that make sense…..

A question (well a surmise actually) is haunting me … well is it so generic or am I “the one” who has been the center to all these prophecies …? Delusion of grandeur? Whatever you say … it sounds scary and also very attractive … Why am I wasting time on this?